Happiness is a culture

Knowing when to quit a wrong mission is no less wisdom than holding on to a vivid vision ~ Mr Imbuya 

I guess we've heard these several times before:
"If you quit, you're a loser..."
"You're a coward for changing your mind..."
"We're now ready to double your pay..."
"What would people (family) say when they hear that you've abandoned your plans of being of  
   Doctor..."
"You've put all your time and effort into this thing, don't give up. You've dated for 3 years; where do you find a good man..." (In the case of an abusive relationship)

Anyone who suggests that you are making a mistake by, quitting, changing course or retracing your steps without considering your reasons is probably being selfish, anxious, paranoid or trying to infect you with their own timidity which stops them from stepping out of their 'comfort-zone'.

Ask yourself this question for instance: How can honourably leaving someone else's business to pursue your own dream be prejudicial?

It can only be considered a loss by anyone who doesn't believe you have any worthwhile dream, derive a false sense of security and satisfaction from seeing you live for survival and not for self-actualization just like them, or by those who seek to continue to use you to meet their own selfish ends.

*Don't let anyone use you to fulfil personal ambitions.
*Don't let anyone discourage you from dreaming big.
*Don't let anyone infect you with their own lack of courage in taking bold decisions and steps
*There is a major difference between starting a seemingly arduous but ultimately rewarding journey and a misadventure you should turn back from, no matter how far in...

...Knowing when to quit a wrong mission is no less wisdom than holding on to a certain vision. 


What experiences or dilemma have you faced when trying to decide to quit and start something else? How did you overcome the fears, threats and uncertainties?
Please share in the comments section. Cheers!

In the near future we'd look at 'Signs that it is time to reconsider a love relationship'.
 Till then...

be inspired - be imbued

Seyi Ogunsola (Mr Imbuya)
Twitter @mr_imbuya
2a5e3aa3

Bitter experiences - such as disappointments, physical and emotional abuse, broken hearts or being defrauded - in our lives might lead us to trust people less. It might necessitate that we become less emotional and more rational.

 However, it is important to not distrust or become suspicious of everyone afterwards. All human beings are not the same. If we consider ourselves - the victims of someone's abuse or cheating - to be good, then it means that there are other good people out there.  We may be cautious, but we can't afford to become paranoid or cynical.

I have had many sad experiences in my life too, but I realise that I cannot afford to become negative about people - in general - and every situation. I simply remind myself of the many good people who have helped me and stayed true. I remind myself that I have relied on people's assistance along the way to get to where I am, and that I will still need people to make further progress.

  Paranoia is a very dangerous thing. It is very prejudicial to our Emotional-wellness and Sound Judgement. Everything, everyone and every situation is the same - "they are all bad"... and in that realm it is impossible to progress.

I have come across many people lately, particularly women, who are so scared of emotional engagement or investment of any sort. In fact, to many young people, the idea of celibacy is not so strange anymore.

As a result, I have tried to differentiate between 'Caution' and 'Paranoia', as well as list and explain a few ways that Paranoia might be affecting us negatively.

Enjoy... (and please share your thoughts and feedback too)

The biggest problem with Paranoia is that it  reduces our capacity to self-introspect and then make necessary behavioural improvements. We blame everyone else for our misfortunes and never realise that we probably made the wrong choices or were too desperate in our show of desire in the first place.

Caution is advised but paranoia is very prejudicial to progress. In that realm people mistake would-be helpers for enemies and opportunities as threats.

Paranoia might also make us mistake opportunists and would-be abusers for helpers, comforters or 'lovers'. It is a disease that clutters the mind and makes it use its head when it should use the heart, and vice-versa.

Paranoia is when you are convinced that love is not for you because of your past love experiences.

Paranoia is when you find it hard to trust anybody no matter how decent they have been - Caution is to slowly trust people as you get to know them.

Paranoia is to hate people before hand because you are convinced everyone is against you .

Paranoia is to never be able to share your pains or burdens with anyone because you think they will only make your situation worse or discuss you with the whole world.

Paranoia is to refuse favors from anyone because you think they are only trying to make you indebted forever.

Paranoia is to feel as if everyone laughing around you is talking about you, or that every DP or FB update is about you  - that kills your confidence and freedom of expression.

Paranoia is to not venture because you think everyone is out to ensure you don't succeed and are waiting to laugh at your failure.

Paranoia is to never enter into any form of partnership with people even if you need it for a business or career breakthrough.

Paranoia leads to isolation and eventually depression.

Paranoia is to be too negative to attract good people, the people you will end up with are those with ulterior motives - devil who will come in sheep clothing,  overlook your hostilities till you let down your guard, become vulnerable; and then they strike.


Seyi Ogunsola (Mr Imbuya)
@mr_imbuya
2a5e3aa3

What are your thoughts or ways of dealing with disappointments or breach of trust, please share with us in the 'comments'. Thank you

If this article has blessed you, please bless others by sharing on Facebook, twitter, Tumblr, Reddit or Digg. cheers....

It's okay to pay attention to 'enemies' to the extent that they do not hurt you again. Anything more is just vanity and a distraction from purpose.

Do not continue to look back. Don't live to prove people wrong; live to prove yourself and those who believe in you right. That way you are sure you are on the right path, and then you are able to focus all your emotional and mental capital on the journey ahead.

Do not become your own worst enemy... paranoia is a limiter of Destiny.

               
 Seyi Ogunsola (Mr Imbuya)
 Twitter @mr_imbuya
 2A5E3AA3
                                                                                                  

 

 

The mind is arguably the most important part of us humans.

The quality of our thoughts determines our habits or life choices - an unhealthy mind can impact on our body and life in general negatively.

An unhealthy mind cannot manage people, relationships, money or even the human body.
A mind that is weighed down by the burden of guilt would find it difficult to be happy or express love.
An unhealthy mind is also likely to depend on artificial tranquilizers to give it a false sense of freedom or relief, by taking harmful substances that are prejudicial to the body.

Similarly, we may possess so much material wealth and still remain disillusioned if we are unhappy, worried or paranoid.

Guilt, fear, stress, horror, worry, jealousy, obsession and paranoia are some of the things that clutter the mind; so I've tried listing some simple things that can help us declutter the mind.

                "There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience"

Read, enjoy and please share your own opinions or experiences...

1. Call people up. Fulfill your promise of checking up your niece in the hostel. Visit Grannies.

2. Be responsible - Don't let duties overlap.

3. Redeem your pledges and promises.

4. Don't procrastinate - Begin to work on your goals:  car servicing, mammogram, dieting etc.

5. Tidy up your personal space - be able to locate personal effects easily as and when needed.

6. Try to always sleep on a well made bed - The quality of our sleep determines the freshness of  
    our minds and invariably the productivity of each new day.

7. Pray - Communicate, be at peace, and receive fresh inspiration from your maker.

8. Exercise.

9. Settle disputes and make up with very loved ones or genuinely good people in your life ASAP - nothing affects our concentration more.

10. Forgive - at the very least - those who have proven to be unrepentantly malicious and antagonistic; and then keep your distance.

11. Be good natured, honest and caring.

12. Share your problems - confide in someone, often we will feel much better by their show of care
      and empathy, if not by their ability to suggest a solution.

     Advise people honestly, or keep your counsel.

14. Don't victimize anyone - "there is no pillow so soft as a good conscience".

15. Avoid horror movies or gory footage on TV if you're faint hearted.

16. Forgive yourself.

17. Listen to music.

18. Watch NatGeo wild or any documentary of animals in their natural environments. Animal
       habitats are an antithesis of the most rowdy urban centre. Hence, they have a way of
       absorbing us into their sheer splendor, peace and serenity.

19. Be contented - don't clutter your mind with unhealthy desires and competition.

20. Don't be lustful/obsessive.

What are your best ways to declutter the mind? Please share with us in the comments section.

Written by: Seyi Ogunsola (Mr Imbuya)
Twitter: mr_imbuya

If this article has blessed you, I'd be glad if you helped share on Twitter, Facebook, or vote on Digg - Thank you!

"The aspects of things that are most important for us are hidden because of their simplicity and familiarity." -- Ludwig Wittgenstein

 "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." -- Confucius

The easiest thing for me to do when life becomes a little difficult is to simplify my life. If I can't add, then surely I can remove or simplify.

Time and again we overlook the simplest source of happiness... Simplicity!

I'd like to share 20 of the ways in which I make my life simple, hopefully we can relate with some of them and find them useful in helping us become happier people.

1. Don't be boastful - When we boast we put so much pressure on ourselves in trying to live up, knowing that our failure will be spectacular and well noted.

2. Tell the truth as much as possible - Our brains are less stressed when we engage it proactively without having to worry about remembering, defending or denying what we said previously.

3. Live within your means - This sounds obvious enough; but it's surprising how so many people still try to earn their way out of financial difficulty instead of curbing their spending. You don't have to be on the wedding train of every of your former school-mates.

4. Don't build happiness or self-esteem on money and material acquisitions - Life will always be complicated for us when we try to be happy by having everything that is in vogue or everything our neighbour has. One race that you will never win is out-buying or "out-possessing" everyone else.

5. Don't try to be a perfectionist - This way you can do things your way, in your own time and at the convenient pace.

6. Don't be a people pleaser - It never works anyway. Some people will never like you - just focus everyday on being a better you.

7. Do the simple things - Dress yourself up and take self-pictures, watch TV, sing, play with chickens, ride a bicycle, sing and record... just do the simple things that please you.

8. If you don't understand what someone has just said, 'simply' say so - Save yourself the stress that comes with worrying about being figured out or embarrassed.

9. Be kind and helpful whenever possible - Someone will be there to help you when life gets hard

10. "Simply" ask questions or seek directions - You get things done better, faster and more easily.

11. Don't be overcritical of people - This happens in football - when some people can't even pick up their phones or go to work when their team has just lost, because of how offensive they were in criticizing their colleague's team. You can then imagine what happens if it's a failure in personal life.

12. Share your problems - There is nothing we are going through that someone hasn't been through.

13. Be respectful and courteous - Life becomes complicated when we have to take the other route to avoid saying hello.

14. Put your well-being and health first (Spiritual devotion, exercises, healthy diet)  - Everything in life is simpler and easier when we enjoy good mental, emotional and physical health.

15. Spend less on celebrations - They only last a few hours.

16. Spend quality time with family - We are at our freest and most natural when around family - It's not such a big deal when that loud fart escapes from our pants.

17. Be humble and kind to everyone - "That driver" may have the ears of the company CEO and might be able to put in a word for you.

18. Don't be obsessed with following trends - You are constantly worked up thinking about how to raise money for the next iPhone - and guess what, they soon become obsolete.

19. Don't try to do everything by yourself - Get a mentor, adviser or assistant. How many times have we seen leaders fail or get exhausted because they wont delegate nor seek advice.

20. Never promise too much - If we make a genuine promise and change in circumstances mean we cant live up, we should be bold enough to communicate and not start lying or avoiding people. People appreciate us more than what we can offer; hence, it's important we don't wreck the relationship.

This blog is about sharing soul-lifting insights, self-actualization messages - it is about imbuement... and at the heart of 'sharing' is Love.
 Hence, it is only fitting that we start with some of my beautiful love quotes emblazoned on posters to inspire us, and for the purpose of sharing easily with others.

Enjoy...